The article that I read this week was on intermarriage (between Jews and non-Jews). This one is a very controversial issue. Many Jews believe that intermarriage will be the downfall of the Jewish people. Others, though, claim that it is just the breath of fresh air that we need. There are facts and statistics to back up both of them: there is a higher percentage of Jews who turn away from religion that only had one Jewish parent than two, but the percentage of Jews with one Jewish parent who stay Jewish is rising rapidly.
I have personal experience with this issue. After all, one of my best friends (you know who you are if you're reading this, and you'd better be!) has a Christian mother, and the same with my first cousins. Thus, I have a strong stance. My best friend went to a Jewish day school with me for nine years, and there is no way that you could say that she isn't Jewish! That alone probably tells you, I'm all for allowing intermarriage. Just as with same-sex marriage, I don't see why anyone else should be able to tell someone who they can and can't love. I do, however, think there should be some stipulations. If an intermarried couple decides to have children, they need to have a clear path for how they want to raise their children, religiously and spiritually speaking. It is important to give your child a sense of identity. I personally am not going to say that you need to raise your children Jewish, because it is completely up to you whether you pick your religion or your spouse's religion. You could even give them limited exposure to both, so long as you make it clear to them which one they are. And, of course, they can make their own decisions as to which parent's religion they follow once they are of an age when they can consider those things intelligently.
What do you think?
What a thoughtful discussion of the topic! I agree about picking one for the kids and then sticking to it with a united front. When I was in school, I had at least one friend whose parents decided not to provide any religious connection, saying the children could decide for themselves when older. Unfortunately, with a grounding in nothing, that is what the result was, and at least one of them had no spiritual direction at all, to her own dismay.
ReplyDelete(Here's me trying to sound intelligent in a reply to a comment from two months ago. So sorry it took so long!)
DeleteI totally agree (as, I think, is obvious from my blog). People tend to forget the fact that children need guidance. Not necessarily indoctrination, but guidance, because they have absolutely no clue what's going on. I think that people forget that their young children don't have the same foundation of knowledge that they do. They may have passed on their genes to their children, but not their knowledge! (If that was true, I'd be the smartest kid on the planet!)
Wow Ilana. I am so impressed by your adult perspectives. You really are as smart as your parents say! Haha...just kidding. You know we all know how intelligent you are. This issue seems to be less at the forefront than when I was your age and our parents were your age. I wonder what others in your class say on the other side. I couldn't agree more on your stance about this. You are so thoughtful in thinking about what needs to happen if two people do get married but share different beliefs. Not only is this an issue with religion but also class, race, and upbringing, family dynamics etc. Sadly, religion is one of the hardest ones!
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks! I know what you mean about the issue being more prevalent now... I think it's partially because of the fact that Israel has only been getting stronger, and also because in the last few years, people's minds have been opened to all kinds of relationships and occurrences.
DeleteYeah, this definitely sparked a good debate in class, which was part of the reason why I wrote about it. I'm glad we agree though.
(Sorry this reply took so long! I've been having some computer problems, but I know that's a poor excuse.)